I think a few of you will find this amusing, especially  funkym3485 since he knows the jerk in question.  Yes, it is THAT jerk Chris.  Please comment coroborating what a jerk that Ryan is.

I was emailing my 'good friend' Dan, yesterday and I had to repost it here with some minor alterations. It's all about the reasons behind which I finally decided to end it with my last boyfriend and why I'm staying with Ryan the jerk's soon to be ex wife.  

A little backstory:

Julia and I have been best friends for about five years ago, when I first moved back to Ottawa for University.  For about 1.5 of those years I was also friends with her now ex boyfriend Michel as they were dating and we bonded since we were all from the west coast.  Needless to say, their breakup was not pretty we totally bonded in the months before they broke up.  She's also become my best friend in those years.   I actually did post about it on here, and I'll go back and find the entry for anyone who is interested.

Around the same time as I met Julia I also met Ryan, coincidentially enough also through university around the same time.  He and I almost had a thing, but Ryan was not interested in having a girlfriend, just a knocking boots buddy.  We tried that too and found ourselves not to be compatible in that way, and all for the best, might I add since as it turns out, he's a huge jerk.

Shortly after breaking up with Michel, Julia and I became roomates and the three of us went out for drinks one night.   Sparks ineveitavbly flew and the two of them became something of an item.  Within a year they had gotten married and also had had a son.  So obviously there was a fast progression to responsiblity and domestic life for them.  

Fast forward another two years and relationship ends, the two seperate and are now livivng in seperate houses.  This took place back in April.  Julia got her own apartment after a few weeks and has been happily living there since, and they each have their son about 50% of the time. 

Since breaking up with Steve, I have moved into Julia's dining room for a short time, in order to get on my feet.  I'm kinda in a financial mess right now and can't afford rent.  I'm also working so much that I really don't have the spare time to go out and find an apartment I like, without feeling like I have to jump in too soon.  We actually work really well as roomates. We are able to spend tons of time together on the weekends and during the week we both have our space since I work until ten pm and she is usually in bed by the time I get home.  I can also watch her son on weekends so she can go to the gym. It's working well all around.

Of course, Ryan, upon hearing aobut my breakup with Steve, blew his top. He was super annoyed with me to hear that it was over.  I mean I had broken up with Steve twice in the past, so it's not like a huge surprise for it to have happened eventually.   My ex and her her ex are now fairly good friends because of me, so I suppose it's not a huge surprise.

  So this all cumulated in a conversation with him on Monday when he picked up his son on the holiday.  She had a really interesting conversation with her soon to be ex husband a couple of days ago.  Unfortunately he's been irrational about the whole thing and makes her life difficult for that reason.He even puts their son in the middle, luckily he's only two and doesn't realise what's going on. 

Anyway, Ryan actually believes, or so he says, that Julia and I are in a lesbian relationship and that's why I moved in with her.  I, of course, got a kick out of that because Julia is one of the straightest girls I know.  Nevermind she's my best friend, that we have been friends for five years, that we have always stood by each other, giving what we can afford to of ourselves at the time of each other's breakups.  Most people would have been surprised had I not been staying with Julia after breaking it off with Steve.  Ryan claims we're welcome to each other. 

Yes, because our five years of friendship has been all about being lesbians.  :P

The best part is that the boy that Julia's dating was upstairs in her living room (staying out of sight since Ryan would have flipped his shit had he seen him) and heard the whole thing, which is ironic because of what Ryan was saying about me and Julia.   I'm also kind of seeing this Dan person who lives Hamilton in a very casual way, so I'm not really interested in having lesbian sex with my best friend at this juncture.  (I'm bisexual)

Anyway that's all for now.  I seem to be coming down with something, but I hope it doesn't become anything too serious.

1.  Get these darn labels done.

2.  Get my student loans deffered.

3.  Find out what the hell is happening with that already paid speeding ticket.

4.  Work on getting a new job.

I don't have my boyfriend's salary (read trust fund) to fall back on anymore, and I need to start paying rent.  It's time to bring my A game.

The fun/awesome bit.
I went away this weekend to Hamilton to hang out with Dan, from my canoe trip in Toronto.  We had gotten along famously the last time we hung out and I had the desire to go and do things this summer and so I did.   I had a great time, and we didn't even do that much.  We went to the harbour, and the hills and did a lot of walking that weekend.  Dan however, did have a car and we would usually drive to the place for the walking, so not insane amounts of walking were required.  We went behind a waterfall and inherrently got soaked in the process, but the noise and power of that water was amazing.  The drive up also wasn't bad, it only took me 5 hours or so, if you take out the getting lost once arriving in Hamilton and getting lost trying to find a washroom in Oshawa.

The conversation wasn't forced.  There was no desire to talk when we didn't want to.  I was nice and peaceful.  I had been looking for that when I went to Toronto and didn't find it.  I'm kinda glad I found it in Hamilton.  

And now the bad/changing bit.
I broke up with Steve Tuesday night, this time for good.  Now I've got to move out of my apartment.  Note to self, you move in with guys way too soon.

I can't help but thinking back to when we got together and I remember thinking "He's going to a challenge" but he really seems to want to change. For whatever reason, I like projects.  They say that about a lot of women.  A woman wants a fixer upper.  Someone she can change and mould into a great guy.  They always say a good man just needs a good woman, but part of that is that you can't always change what is fundamentally flawed with an individual, they can only do that themselves.   I really liked him, and still love him but I can't stay with him in the hopes that he'll stop eating badly and smoking pot daily (I'm not an anti drug person, I just feel that it should be a recreational thing) someday.  I want to get out in the world and find a job that pays at least moderately well, so I can be comfortable.  I don't want to be comfortable because my boyfriend has a trust fund.

My problem is that I can take on the characteristics of whomever I'm dating if I don't try hard enough no to.  I think I'm finally starting to learn what I'm like, what I like to do and what my strengths are.  The problem is, I know that being with Steve does not play to my strengths.  Self control, getting outside and being active and even keeping in touch with my friends.  These are important things to me, and they're hard to keep up if the beloved is a hermit. 

I sometimes wonder if I'm ever going to find the person who is right for me.  I tend to be very picky, I tend to go out with guys for two to four months and then find reasons to break up with them.  That is if we get into boyfriend and girlfriend stage.  I tend to date lots of people, I just haven't found the right one yet.

Last weekend, so the first weekend in August, I travelled the five hours up to the largest metropolitan in Canada, Toronto.  There I stayed with a friend in his little bedroom and spent the weekend doing fun things and the like. I have been mulling over the content of that weekend and what happened.  Parts of it were wonderful, others were awkward to say the least.

Firday afternoon, I left Ottawa around 4:30pm.  I had decided that the greyhound would be the best use of my money, especially since otherwise I would have had to pay a daily rate to park my car.  Toronto has a very draconian overnight parking policy, ie, you don't park overnight on the street.  Basically, it was going to cost me almost as much for parking as it would have for a greyhound ticket, making my choice clear.  

I got off the bus at about 10 pm on Friday, and the bus trip was fairly nice, albeit the bus was fairly full.  I sat beside a nice girl with who I would occasionally chat.  Upon getting off the bus, my friend was there to meet me with a really crushing hug.  We then walked to his house which was easily a 35 minute walk.  It took an hour, because he got lost.  Luckily, he carried by bag, because having woken up at 430am and having worked all day before coming down, the day was very long by 10pm.  After walking around for an hour I was losing patience. 

We finally found his place and I was amazed to discover that he ONLY had a tiny bedroom.  Every possession he had was in this little room, including his china, cutlery, toiletries and tp!  It was a little odd to say the least!  I basically went to bed, on arrival and was fairly excited for the next day at that time.  Ian and I chatted a little bit, but pretty uneventful considering it was the first day of my trip.  

The next day I woke up fairly early, considering I had been getting up for work at 6am for almost a week, and Ian and I headed down to the St Lawrence market.  This is a true market in that it sells all kinds of food, like the byward market does, but has a roof and operates all year round.  They also had market stands that sold knick knacks and jewlery, as well as places with prepared food.  We had breakfast there and browsed the wares for most of the morning.  Ian and I were getting along fairly well at this point, and he was telling me all about his love issues, and I was dispensing advice.  (because I'm *such* an expert somehow)

Around 11am, I met up with another mutal friend of ours, Dan, who had driven up from Hamilton with a canoe on his car.  The plan was to canoe out to the Toronto Islands for the day and get in touch with nature.  This was possible despite having come to the largest metropolitain in Canada.  The Toronto Islands are the largest urban and carless area in North America, and quite quiet despite the fact that the ferries were running again (there had been an employee strike which was ratified only the day before) and the Island was packed with tourists.

That was by far my favorite part of the trip.  It was so calm and beautiful there.  There we beautiful, empty sandy beaches and calm little inlets to explore.  We were also able to take pictures in nature with the CN tower in the background.  There was quite an involved process of taking a picture of Dan, in the canoe, with the CN Tower in the background, to proove to his mom you could one on one with nature in Toronto.  She thought the whole adventure of Canoing was hillarious and ridiculous.  The hardest part of taking said photograph was the fact that I was sitting in the front and had to turn around to do it, without tipping our canoe. 

Dan was a very restful person, we spent a lot of the time talking, as we hadn't seen each other in over a year (and then having only met once) but it was actually quite nice even just to sit and not speak too.  You know, those people with whom you instantly relax and feel like nothing needs to be said.  It was like that.

The main piece of excitement with regards to the whole canoeing thing in general was on the way back to the mainland.  We had to cross a concrete pier thing, and despite it being about 730pm, the Lake was really choppy for a small canoe.  We eventually got back to shore, and had to dismount from the canoe in choppy waves.  Dan figured I should probably take my shoes off, lest I get them soaked. I did, and still ended up soaked upto my mid thighs.  I'm not so great at timing things like that, and Dan, of course, assured me that it was harder to get out for the front of a canoe versus the back.

After getting into some drier clothes, Dan and I joined Ian for dinner at a really good chinese (cantonese specifically, i think) food place.  we ate till our fill and Dan of course pretended to have to go to the bathroom so he could pay our bill.  I ,of course, made a little bit of angry waves about the whole thing and should have been appriciative.  I'm just the kind of girl who likes to pay their own way.  At that point mr canoehead (Dan) went home for the night, as it was almost ten o'clock.   I was basically beat by then too, and had a sunburn to go along with the tiredness, so we just went home and to bed.

By Sunday, I was a lot more crabby, having to sleep on an air mattress with a sunburn.  Ian and I went to Don Heights Unitarian for a Sunday service.  Quite a few people got up and talked about summer memories, past and present.  I learned all about what real adventures were like (for instance like the family who travelled from Toronto to Calgary and didn't have enough money on the way back for anything but gas, so they ate pb sandwiches from Thunder Bay and just drove straight without stopping).  People wouldn't do that these days with kids, although it would teach them a bit about how to rough it, and how important that is. 

I also went shopping at the Eatons centre, since I was wearing my last clean outfit by then.  I had not forseen the dirtying of two outfits on Saturday, nor the fact that one of my shirts was see-through without a camasoile and that it was too hot to wear one.  I bought a cute skirt and a purple shirt to wear the next day.  We also spent a good portion of the day relaxing, and reading, since I was exausted by mid afternoon (the sunburn was really taking its toll) Ian of course was doing his normal hovering, which drives me a little batty.  He did give me a chance to read and nap, which I really needed.  We later went out for dinner and took a walk on the pier.  

By Monday, I was exhausted from sleeping arragements and could not fathom the idea of sleeping overnight on the bus, as the bus I booked was leaving would have me back at 5am on Tuesday morning.  I found out from the guy at the wicket at the bus station, that I should just show up for a different bus, and since they were so busy, they would just let me on.  I'm not sure why it worked, but it did and I was home by 930 pm on Monday night, which surprised the hell out of my boyfriend since I hid in the dark in order to truly surprise him, around the time I knew he would be home from work.

I brought him dragonfruit I had bought him earlier that day from chinatown, which was quite tasty.

Other than that it was a pretty uneventful trip.  The friend I stayed with tended to be a nervous person, which set me on edge (I tend to be an anxious person, especially if someone else is too)  and with the lack of personal space, it was not the most relaxing weekend on record.  As I told Dan when we spoke later, I am now aware of what my Ian limits are, and he agreed.  It's not always easy to spend a whole weekend with the same person, and I'll definately only stay overnight with him from now on.   I, of course, explained that I was loner and needed alone time.  Which was difficult in such a small space, because I did end up being quite snappy with him from time to time.  All in all it was still a good weekend.

Anyway I"m going up to Hamilton next weekend, Dan and I have more canoeing adventures in store.

Probably due to procrastination, and the fact that that daunting list is waiting for me, and so is bed....I figure what the hell, let's make another LJ post... sure why not!!!!  I haven't posted in months, let's do it at the most inopportune time.

I've been dealing with a bout of homebodiness lately.  I don't know if it just has to do with the fact that I'm working evenings and therefore have no desire to do anything before work or whatnot.  I've also been neglecting my friends a whole bunch, I mean I hadn't talked to my best friend probably in three weeks but then, to be fair she hasn't called me either, which probably means she has been equally as busy.

My boyfriend's habits are rubbing off on me, but I truly do like being alone at the moment.  I like spending time with him, but when he's not around, I'd just rather not go out.  If I go out, I like it when he comes, which is a hassle and a half to be sure.  My boyfriend is agoraphobic, which is easily dealt with by just not taking him to bars or really noisy restaurants..  The problem is, i do want to appear to have a normal relationship and often ask him to come when I know we're not doing anything on his 'not allowed' list,  trust me, that is pulling teeth.  I have convinced him it is important or rather he realised it was important and promised to come next time.

I'm going to Toronto without him this weekend, and you know I invited him but only as an afterthought... is that okay?  

He doesn't know any of my friends and evidently didn't want to come, but is it bad that I'm relieved?

I love my boyfriend, but sometimes I wonder if I don't treat him well enough.

( Cut, for your pleasure, and because it does go on a bit..... )Anything missing??

Thinking my mother wasn't in my corner. My mom is always in my corner, even if we don't always get along.

Staying with my finace for eight months after he cheated on me.  I thought it was 'true love', stupid me.

I was just making myself some breakfast, when I realised I had forgotten one very special friend who I know IRL as well as on LJ, who had his bday in July but doesn't have his birthday posted on his profile so it doesn't show up on my 'birthdays coming up soon' list.

I had acutally been thinking about what I could say on LJ, to try to give back when it hit me.

funkym3485  was born on July 1st and since he is a good friend of mine, I better give him a shout out....

  
I'm sooooo sorry I forgot man!!!!  Wanna hang out with me sometime soon?

He just turned like seven, so yeah it's cool beans!

Hey there,
Just thought I would give a shout out to this week's birthdays.  All my LJ friends who have birthdays in the month of July are celebrating either today or tomorrow.

First of all, pundigrion our newest Canadian immigrant is celebrating her 29th.

Secondly, cindylou07  is celebrating her 27th

both Today!  Have a good one ladies.


Also, da_cheese   Will be 28 tomorrow!

Thanks for filling my days with interesting pics and stories of life.   I really appciciate it.

I've been having a lot of problems lately feeling like doing anything.  I feel like I should want to be social, but I just don't care.  Life is wearing me out.  Is life supposed to be this hard?  I know this is turning into a bit of an angst-filled post but I just can't help it, this  stuff has been on my mind for a long time.

I wonder if maybe I should make more of an effort.  I hang out with Steve often... I hang out with Julia weekly and the rest of my friends every couple of months, depending on parties or boredom levels (theirs not mine) 

The truth is, I never call anybody since I am always afraid that they are going to be busy, or worse that they don't like me.  I guess I just don't give myself alot of credit do I?  I never want to seem weak in front of people so I don't want to seem like I don't have any friends... or something.

Is this what happens as we get older?  We stop being social? My boss at work is a year younger than me and while she seems to have friends, she is VERY lonely, because she'll try to be my friend outside of work.  She tried to invite me out to a spa with her this weekend.  She had all the full time supervisors over at her house for a party this weekend.  She goes to the company's owners' house to play poker even though they suck. She'll also often buy me coffees and food while at work and stay at work way after her shift is over, driving around in cars with random supervisors.  It doesn't make sense to me, but  then I'm in a fairly stable relationship with a guy I happen to like spending a lot of time with.  I also have things in my life other than work...but not that many.

So how about it, am I screwed or should I put myself out there more with my friends?

I can't get over the fact that we got snow in Ottawa today... hey Jesus... it's fucken April.

what... what... Oh... right... okay...

Oh right, Jesus wanted me to clarify:  He is most definately not in charge of the weather and will be kicking the person who is right in their nads... because apparently this person is male... I wonder if it hurts to get kicked in the junk in heaven?

ANYHOO... Moving on....

Today was an okay day, i spend a lot of it doing things for other people, including work... which is a long succession of me doing things for other people.  Okay, so most people would argue that everyone's work is like that, but in my case it really is just that.  

"Hey Amy, come pick me up at my house"

"Okay"

"Hey Amy, Go do an NCR at this place, with this guy."

"Ummm Okay"

"Go fill up the van... "

"You mean the PO---oh sure Marky-Mark"

"Would you bend over and suck my----"

well you get the idea.

I like days when people do things for me, when I have control over my decisions and such.  Day off are great.  Too bad I don't have one of those until sunday :S

Alright, gotta sleep... four thirty comes really soon
A

hi
I have been reading and marvelling at how much the people on my f-list have changed over the years.  The few I have had for a long time have grown up or changed alot, and it makes me wonder if I have changed at all?  I mean I don't think I have changed, I dont' really feel like I have changed.  

The one thing I know I have done is that I have become way more openminded and way more educated, but I don't know if these things have changed me as a person.  

It kinda makes me wish I had more journal entires to go back and read, because I might be better able to tell that way.

A

I have several new people on my f-list and several people who are going through horribly heartbreaking things right now .   If not horribly heartbreaking, somewhat difficult... or maybe it's just Regine's singing along to a depressing song that's making me feel melancholy.  

Life is very meh right now, I'm doing okay.  I'm currently at an impasse with most things.  I should be trying to change things in my life currenlty but I kinda like where things are going.  I like my apartment (I love the commute :) of 10 mins on foot ) I like my job, although I'm on call all the time and it looks like it's going to stay that way for the foreseeable future.  There is a chance I could be getting a promotion, but I haven't been asked if I am interested in being considered there are too many variables in the air right now on that one.  I am handling this properly, from what I have been able to grasp from the way things work here.  There are a few people who are being ripped to pieces in the gossip ladder for saying that they would be good in that position and making their intentions known.  (It's basically the manager of our division, which is more prestigious and well paid than it sounds, but does require more experience than they have.)  I have also proven myself more than capable as a work and have some experience and courses behind me that might tip the balance in my favor.  Currently the guy in the position just below that one has been asked to take over that job, but has asked for too much money in return.   I was hoping to get one of the lower positions that would be then vacant, but at this point I'm not sure that that will be be an option.

If I got ANY promotion, my work hours would be much better, and more foreseeable than they have been in the past.  I also like the work so I'm sticking around to see what happens for the time being.... instead of being in the constant state of trying to find a better job.  I also like the pay and the overtime...although the promotion would probably see those fade away too.

Now, work is making a  huge part of my life lately.  I think there are a few reasons for that.  Among them, the break I needed from Event management type things.  My odd hours and heavy workload (I work 50 hours most weeks, although work does not creep home with me, fortunately) has been a welcome break from that world.   Another welcome distraction would be a promotion since it would probably mean that I would be improving my potential career wise.  It would also mean I could get back into event management with out much trouble, as I could work as a consultant for different wedding planners (my work schedule would be weekdays mostly) build my portfolio that way.  I'm thinking that that's the way I'm going to want to go.  Have a good solid weekday job and assist others on the weekends to get more experience.  That way I would have management experience and field experience.  (I figure if I do move to Toronto it will be in about 2 years)

Work and work related things are really not the biggest problems I'm having right now.  I'm of course, also having relationship problems.  Part of that stems from my irrational need to have my home feel serene.  When we first moved into our new apartment (in June) we didn't have much furniture so we just put it wherever.  Now with the huge depression I have gone through in the last few weeks, I now I want to move the whole apartment around so that I get more natural  light and adjust to a daytime schedule again.  Since trading rooms, I have been feeling much better (steve and I don't share a bed, don't worry, I think it's weird too) and I have decided to switch the rooms.  This has also helped me to figure out how to properly lay out the living room as well.  We have now gone from having four messy rooms to having two messy rooms and me being well on the way to having them be longer messy.

There are other, more pressing relationship problems as well but most of those I can deal with.  Others, well I haven't sorted out solidly how I feel about them.  They make me question how much I will ever be able to love my boyfriend.


Part of me is also afraid to make the wrong decision or that things could get much much worse

After work last night, two guys from work and I went out for drinks.  Both these guys are awesome and, admittedly, my two favorite people with whom to work.  There are several reasons for this.  The first one is because they actually work hard and care about their jobs.  Alot of people I work with don't give a shit about doing their job properly.  They also tell me what's good for me, professional wise, and will always take the time to answer my questions vis a vis my job.  There are of course still questions as I've only been doing this since the end of June (about five weeks now).  They highly suggested that I apply for the currently available supervisor position since I have brains in my head.  With their past and current experience, I guess that is a pretty big compliment.  I only realized that they were good friends about three days ago, and I'm kinda happy about it.  I seem to be developing into the other person with whom they hang out from work. 

I'm figuring there are a few reasons for this, and also the second reason I like working with them so much.  They are interesting, quirky, not like everyone else and different.  I have always been the person that 'wasn't like everyone else' and even when I get along with lots of people, I pride myself on not being like them.  Finding other interesting people is awesome.  There are people who fight it, and try to ignore their quirks, but it never works.  These guys embrace them.

One of them is one the finest people I have ever met (the other guy and I agreed on this last night) and is the guy who is liked by EVERYBODY at the museum practically.  Everyone remembers the guy in highschool that everyone liked... that's this guy.  One of my old supervisors, got a promotion and is going onto the other side.  Luckily he's not going away tho.

The other guy is also quirky, and says he prides himself on being the guy that many people think is odd.  He goes out of his way to make the oddest comments that common sense will allow.  From the first day when I tripped walking down the stairs we started talking and for some reason it stuck.  A lot of people find him weird and hard to talk to, for whatever reason I don't.  He seems to go out of his way to talk to me.

Last night when we went out, we were supposed to go out for a few drinks (the boys are going to New Brunswick today for a week and we had to celebrate the one guys promotion to in house security) it turned into us meeting the hosts and guides at an Ottawa bar after work for drinks.   This seemed to be in order to hit on girls from work.  I get along pretty well with everyone, going out of my way to be friendly and the whole bit.  I did however see a problem with this from the beginning.  Now just in case you don't have an idea of the world of cliques... I'll explain the wonderful world of a work hierarcy.

Most of the time what happens with museums is that friendships seem to divide along job descriptions for the most part and then along age lines (and then along religious lines if necessary) if one group doesn't have a lot of members it will sometimes fold into another group.  Most groups get along with the other groups at least in a friendly way.  Sometimes it also divides between contract workers and non contract workers, especially in security.  That wall doesn't seem to be there as much as I have seen in the past.  There are obviously resentments and conflicts between the two groups, but I have worked at a museum before and you basically didn't socialize with the in house security (although of course, I seemed to be more or less an exception as I am now)

 Basically, these two guys will now be working for the in house side, will I continue to be contract.   Although that's not the point, I'm getting to that.

Anyway, so my two friends went from it being casual drinks between the three of us, to being us tagging along with the museum tour guides.  This didn't bother me, in theory, but I definately didn't like the idea that they might not want us around.  I figured it would be a 'hey! how's it going, we're going over here now... you guys stay over there situation"  That's how it started and I figured that out right away.  One of the girls did seem to want to hang out with us, which was cool and we eventually all ended up at two tables pushed together (there were about 15 of us).  As the night wore on, people gradually left, it was a pretty good time and the conversation was pretty good.  The dancing was also fun.

What pissed me off and what I think was completely deliberate is the ditching. A bunch of them (4) say "goodbye we're leaving, see you at work" and then it was just the three of us left.  The two guys had gone to the bathroom and I was at the table.  About ten minutes later we're about to leave, and one of the guides comes up to me and asked me if they had gone to another bar (which he referred to by name) I told them I didn't know anything about it.  Anyway the two security guys decided we should go over there and see if they were there.  I, of course, have been ditched a lot... because I can be a big square sometimes, and I can totally catch a ditching when I see one.  I also didn't want to have an argument about it, since I was quite possibly wrong.  My two friends and the other guide who seemed to know what was going on, decided to walk over to this bar.  When we got there, we were kinda ignored.  This pissed the guys off and of course, I'm thinking "dudes we were ditched, I thought you would have realized that..."  They still stayed until they left, and we all walked down to the buses together, and then the guys and I walked home from there. 

All three of us live walking distance from the museum and were greeted warmly by the overnight security when we stopped back by to get our stuff.  We joked about with them about how fun it was and the like.

It was a great night but the guys did kind of get the cold shoulder from the girl guides, for the most part.  Hopefully, they find nice girls, although I don't now if it'll be at work.  The one guy who seemed to like to talk to me was super nice to me today.  It's kinda nice to get some attention.

The guys said that they should do that more often, but I'm not sure if that includes me but I'll be happy if it does. 

I have been down lately because I've been working so much.  It was nice to get out and socialize and have a good time with some nice people, even if their friends had to ditch us.  Makes me wonder why people have to be cliquey.

Since I have so many new people on my f-list as of late, I figured I should tell them a little bit more about me, just in case they care stolen from cindylou07 and cut because I care...

I  just got back from TO yesterday.  I had a great time, and it was a great re-charge since things at home and work were starting to wear on me.  To be quite honest, I'm really really glad I planned it and that I got to see very many people.

I could go on and post the boring details about my trip to TO, but I'm not going to.  Most of what I did was going out with friends and talking a lot about what's been going on since we last spoke.  What interests me is how it made me feel to be there.  For whatever reason, I've spent my entire life bashing Toronto.  I've never actually gone there to visit friends or anything like that.  I actually tend to be the kind of person who doesn't go out of town as much as I should.  Despite living five hours drive from there, having family and friends there, I had been there three times: 1. a band trip, 2. to visit a friend , and this time.  I spent the most days here than I ever had (3) and I had a great time. 

I'm now contemplating a move to TO, not only because of the fact that I like it there, but also because it would probably be a good career move for me, and it just felt more right to me than Ottawa does (although I have always loved Ottawa) I could be wrong about TO, it may have just been a feeling, you know.  I've moved away one other time and I had a horrible time.  I have some ideas of why, and part of it was because I did not have a community to support me.  At least this time, I would have one of two Unitarian Congregations I could join, and I wouldn't go there without a job first.  It would only be a move for a job.  When I moved to Comox, I had moved because my boyfriend had moved for his job.  I was so relieved when I came home a year later for a visit and found my friends were still there.  Things had been not going well, and so I decided I was moving home.  I also had the good sense to go back and break off our engagement in person, because that's how I roll.

At the time, I kinda told myself at the time I couldn't live away from Ottawa, because part of the reason I hated comox so much was because I would see Ottawa on TV and I would immediately get homesick.  I've never been homesick before in my life, but then I had never moved away either.

Reasons why TO would be good for me
1- I could go car free, more or less, the busses are awesome
2- I would probably be able to get a better job there, because there would be less competition (there are no event management programs in TO and 3X as many people who want to go to events)
3- I would still be a reasonable distance from home (it took me 3.5 hrs to drive there and 5 to drive home) , that I could come for 3 or 4 day visits every couple of months since it's not too far.
4- I can still come home and see my family, plus I do have quite a bit of family there
5- I would get out of this funk
6- did I mention a better job????

Why it would suck
1- It's bigger, Ottawa is the perfect size (800K versus almost 3 million)
2- paying to move my stuff
3- The boyfriend probably wouldn't come
4- More expensive to live there, especially for housing
5- while having no car is greener, I do like driving....

Taking all of this into account, I still think it's probably a good move.  The only one that really bothers me a lot on the Con side is the boyfriend, but having had a horrible time with my fiance I will never hold myself back for a man ever again.  Other than that most of the sucks are minor sucks.

So I ask you LJ friends, have any of you had to move and did you like it or hate it?

Despite the fact that I love LJ and checking it dozens of times a week... I wait anxiously for my f-list to post (it is kind of small... I may want to think of expanding) I do not return the favor and let other LJers poke in the recesses of my personal life.  It might be greed that causes me to do this, it might be my lack of storytelling ability... among other things, but I think the biggest reason is because unlike all of my fair LJ friends, I don't have that many interesting things to say.  Or so I think. 

I have one LJ friend who has recently emigrated to Canada and doesn't have a job, and yet she finds fun stuff to post about EVERY DAY.... and I love her posts. 

You all have interesting things to say, and despite the fact that I have not met many of you in person, I do consider you, to a certain degree, friends.   I hope you enjoy sharing your lives with me as much as I enjoy reading about them. 

This is not a swan song by any means, this is niether a promise to start writing more, since I have no proof that has ever worked int he past.  I have mainly found that I tend to talk about men in my LJ's... usually men I am dating, and sometimes stalkers :P  (that's circa 2005 for those of you who remember) I tend to stop posting when life gets busy, or when I don't have highspeed (like the entire last school year)

Presently, the first excuse will get it's mileage.  I'm working about 50 hours a week. 

Please keep writing interesting things so I that I can keep reading them.    Thanks friends!

What brought me here was the fact that the community is featured on LJ, it only now just occured to me who MY Roomate from hell was, and trust me, I've had a few...

Hey guys!

I haven't posted in ages...

So I was just paroosing my facebook homepage and I noticed that one of my exes broke up with his girlfriend.  This was my first real boyfriend post finance (2.5 years later, by choice) and I really liked him.  He was a ninny but a ninny I loved, a pessimist, but a hardworker.  It was never meant to be for us... but I did really fall hard for this guy. I actually did have a rebound boyfriend (which I've never really done before) who was the exact opposite of him.  I KNEW that it couldn't work between us.... so I was happy when we broke up, but wanted to stay friends.

A couple of months after our break up, enter highschool aged  girlfriend stage right, who he ends up being head over heels for (he was never head over heels for me, so far as I could tell) and she pulls strings and tells him that we can't be friends anymore because it makes her "uncomfortable".  I told you he was a ninny.  He, of course, basically ends our friendship.  This of course pisses me off, because this girl is really young and (I hate to be shallow) really ugly.  Being that she was eighteen, I basically figured it wouldn't last, especially based on the bit I did know about her.

So now, almost a year after it started, it's done. 

Is it bad that I'm happy in my head?  Is it bad that my first thought was "I told you so"?  I'd never say these things to him and I'm not sure we could even ever be friends because this would probably happen again once he found a new squeeze (he's like that) but that doesn't stop me from being just a little smug.

Oh btw, I live with my present boyfriend and am really happy... so it's not really like I'm wanting to go out with him or anything.  I was just a lady scorn, because we didn't stay friends.


A

So in the past few weeks I have been super busy.  My life has shifted from being about work to school, and everything to do with the event I am working on.  Right now, I'm planning on doing a seniors bowling and activity day a a local rec centre.  The idea is to make a couple hundred dollars for the children's wish foundation.

Now for those who know me, they know that I hate asking people for  money and I hate calling people on the phone.  This makes the prospect of asking people to donate money and calling businesses on the phone and convincing them to give us free stuff. I hate it.  The prospect of doing it makes me want to throw up a little.

In other news, I'm doing much better this week than last week.  There aren't people going around anymore psychoanalyzing every single flaw I have and needless to say that's a nice feeling.